Happy 5th Birthday my dear son

I just wanted to say that today is a bittersweet day... I am so proud of how much you have grown and how much you have learned. I just wish I was able to be there to see it for myself. I miss you everyday and sometimes I wish you were around but I know you are happy and safe. I feel like I did good by you and I hope that I'am right. I hope that todays birthday is all you could hope for... I hope you know that I love you and I do miss you deeply. I cried when it hit midnight and it was officially your birthday... I was flooded with emotions and memories of your birth and every other birthday I have celebrated in my own way... Every year I make a cake in your memory. I got that idea from fellow birth mothers... I hope you are happy... Happy Birthday baby!

Three days before your 5th birthday

Today I bought you a birthday card... It wasn't much but I hope you like it... I got permission from your parents to send you a birthday card. I was so excited when they said yes. I walked all the way down to the store just so I could find the perfect card that said everything my heart said but of course that card would only exists if I made it myself... I just want you to know that I miss and love you everyday! I still think you were my birthday present even though you were born a month before my birthday but you were still the best birthday present anyone could ask for...