Just thinking of you

I had my 23rd birthday last week and all I could think about was you. I miss you, I miss what it felt like to look at you, I miss the way it sounded to hear your voice for the first time. Everyday I wonder when I will hear your voice again. I wonder when I will be reunited with you, I wonder what your doing and what you had for dinner. The first and last time we spoke you were telling me all about yourself, I tired to tell you about myself and answer all you questions but my heart was in my throat and I could barely find my words. It has been almost a year since I heard your voice and I so long to hear it again.

I have sent emails back and forth with your family, and I do get updates from time to time. I get pictures every now and again and they are what make me smile everyday. I trust that you are well and that you are safe. I have faith that when the time is right I will receive that amazing phone call once again, until then all I can do is wait.

I pray everyday for you, that your are happy and having fun. I do believe that you are in kindergarten now. Do you have alot of friends? Have you met that friend that you will know for the rest of your life? Maybe, maybe not. All I know is that you are my heart and my soul, you are the air I breathe and the sun in my sky. I am forever thinking of you!


Love you always,

Your tummy mommy Bethany

Happy 5th Birthday my dear son

I just wanted to say that today is a bittersweet day... I am so proud of how much you have grown and how much you have learned. I just wish I was able to be there to see it for myself. I miss you everyday and sometimes I wish you were around but I know you are happy and safe. I feel like I did good by you and I hope that I'am right. I hope that todays birthday is all you could hope for... I hope you know that I love you and I do miss you deeply. I cried when it hit midnight and it was officially your birthday... I was flooded with emotions and memories of your birth and every other birthday I have celebrated in my own way... Every year I make a cake in your memory. I got that idea from fellow birth mothers... I hope you are happy... Happy Birthday baby!

Three days before your 5th birthday

Today I bought you a birthday card... It wasn't much but I hope you like it... I got permission from your parents to send you a birthday card. I was so excited when they said yes. I walked all the way down to the store just so I could find the perfect card that said everything my heart said but of course that card would only exists if I made it myself... I just want you to know that I miss and love you everyday! I still think you were my birthday present even though you were born a month before my birthday but you were still the best birthday present anyone could ask for...

Christmas 2009

This Christmas was extra special to me. I received a present from you and your family... It was a pretty picture of you in this beautiful red frame... I will keep it forever... Sometimes when the holidays or birthdays come around I wish you were here but I always have to remember that I chose your family for a reason... It is very hard everyday but it gets harder when the holidays come. I miss you baby Brandon, well I guess your not a baby anymore but in my heart you will always be my baby... I miss and love you!

Love,

Your tummy mommy

When you were born

I remember the day you were born as if it were yesterday... It was a cold afternoon in California... You were born to the proud parents Bethany Warner and Harley Jones... We loved you very much. You were born on January 05th, 2005 at 3:15pm by emergency C section. I had something called HELLP Syndrome. I almost died but I fought just so I could see you enter this world. You were born sick due to some medication that they had to give me to keep me alive. It broke my heart to see you on all those machines but you were a fighter and you thrived. You were in The Neonatal Intensive Care Unit... I remember the first time I saw you. You were the most beautiful thing I had ever saw. I remember touching your tiny foot and then I feel back to sleep. You were three weeks premature. You weighed 5lbs 1oz and were 17 inches long. You were given the name of Tiarek Kent Jones.. We were in the hospital for about ten days... Then we got to go home to our new home... You were the most important thing in my life and I am so thankful you were born...

Written by your loving tummy mommy